...a once long-lost friend comes back into the fold of your life? Mr. FivePants, it was damn good to see you again. Don't be a stranger. ...your muscles ache from exertion? Sure, you might wince at every movement and going to the bathroom is an exercise in agony, but there's definitely the upside of not feeling quite as sedentary as usual. Of course, my exertion was trying to curve bowl and the only muscle that hurts is my right bicep, but you know what I mean. ...the softest dog in the whole world is cuddled up next to you when you're sad? Corn Dog's ears are like butta. Silky, smooth, butta. And she's so nice and warm. A big, warm, sausage-shaped ball of fuzz. It's like therapy only not as expensive. ...your friends show infinite patience as they try to explain, for the umpteenth time, why you shouldn't beat yourself up? My masochistic streak runneth over. I have been blessed with a style of self-deprecation that can suck up the last ray of suns...
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(in the interest of foreclosure, that would be bell biv devoe that sang that girl is poison. while former members of new edition, it was not in fact a new edition song). word.