What do you mean by "perfect"?

I have to admit that I was a bit anxious about the Hong Kong part of my latest trip. I didn't know what to expect, but I knew what I thought would be ideal: seeing a bit of the city, hanging out, making new friends, eating exotic food, sleeping on the couch and the like. I ended up experiencing a bit of the old college glory days and I didn't expect it to make the impact on me that it did. I did see a good bit of the city (the important parts anyway - I was only there for 5 days), hung out more than a nice local girl should, made a few new friends, ate mostly safe food that was ordered for me in most cases (a good thing too since nothing was recognizable), and managed to avoid the sofa altogether.

But I think the part that really made the impact is that I never expected to have such a good time. It ended up being one of the best trips I've ever taken. My expectations were not just blown out of the water - more like they were strung up like a trophy fish and mounted on the wall.

Isn't that one of the funnier parts of life? How when we least expect something we sometimes find that the most unexpected part was something we really wanted or needed. For instance, a single person looking for that perfect mate. They have an idea, an expectation of what will make them happy and it seems like pretty often, those expectations are out of whack with their true desires. Not always, but I'd guess frequently, they're looking for a perfect package.

I briefly dated this guy in college, we'll call him Leans to the Left (man, I totally forgot about that part until I tried to think of his real name - ha!). Aside from the anatomical thing I just remembered, the only other thing I remember about dating this guy was the conversation we had right before we split up. It went something like this:

Leans to the Left: I really like you. You're one of the coolest girls I've ever met.
Me: I like you too. (I was very verbose back then)
LTTL: I have been thinking a lot about us and I want you to meet my parents.
Me: [gulp] Really? Wow. Ok.
LTTL: I mean, you're so much different from other girls I've dated. I think you could be the girl I want to marry if you lost 15 pounds.
Me: [speechless, mortified]
LTTL: What? What's the matter?
Me: I've got to go. See you later.

And I bolted. I ran so fast back to my dorm room, I pulled a muscle (or three). Of course the tears were a-flowing as soon as the word later left my lips. I mean, DAMN DUDE! How harsh was that? I was perfect except for my weight? His words stung. Not because I wanted him to be the one and my hopes were shattered...more because he keyed in on one of my big self-image issues and didn't just push that button - he removed the button and replaced it with a hair-trigger release.

I do honestly believe that everybody that comes into our lives can teach us something about ourself and our life. LTTL taught me that "perfect" doesn't mean shite when it comes to the real world and allowed me to expand my choices of mates, regardless of outward appearance. Not that I dated any lepers or anything (even though I hear they have big.....hands), but I gave people a chance even if they weren't the hottest or the coolest or the perfect image of what I thought I wanted and needed. I should really track LTTL down and thank him for being a complete moron. I won't go so far as to say that life lesson helped me find Dirty Gravy - but it was instrumental in the development and editing of my idea of "perfect". I don't believe in perfect.