I Still Can't Believe It

If it wasn't for A Christmas Story, I'm not sure I could make it through this time of year. I mean, yeah of course I'm all jolly and smiley during the holidays, who isn't? Oh, wait...that's right, I sometimes have to force it. But when ACS is on the telly, no force is necessary. So so many good lines. A smattering of some of my favorites: I have since heard of people under extreme duress speaking in strange tongues. I became conscious that a steady torrent of obscenities and swearing of all kinds was pouring out of me as I screamed. (this happens to me all of the time) Aunt Clara had for years labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually 4 years old, but also a girl. (there's always one relative like this, isn't there?) He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. (Profanity! Not just for the holidays) Meatloaf, smeatloaf, double-beatloaf. I hate meatloaf. (Amen) Oh I hate the smell of tapioca. (Can I get anoth

...you hear a song that you're madly in love with but you don't know what it is and then you realize your phone can identify it for you? The app store is dangerously amazing. Shazam! (superfluous emphasis mine) is the app for which I have much affection. ...you find a recipe for the delicious pancake soup you had in Vienna and try to recreate it? I only barely scanned the online recipe and thus was unawares that the leftover pancakes I used were quite different than called for until they swelled when added to the broth and I ended up with glorified brothy pancake mush. I went back for seconds. ...that trip to Scotland you've tried to plan at least three previous times is finally booked and soon to be a reality? Fuck yeah-eah-eah! Oh em gee I'm beyond excited. ...the family gets together no less than three times in the span of four days? Including D-Minus home from school? Eating, bowling, drinking, game-playing, watching Dad play to the crowd at Rumple's, a