Waffler

So...I'm old. Not as old as some and not as young as others, but in terms of baby-making, I'm getting into that Old Stage. Where, if/when I were to get preggers, my doctor will likely make several references to the advanced age of the mother. Guh. Mother. Eek.

See, I can't make up my mind whether I want to have kids or not. One week I'll see a baby or a little kid and think "I could deal with that". And then the next week, I'll hear a story about episiotomies or get sent an mpeg file of babies crying and I'll no sooner than see or hear these things and my mental switch is flicked in the opposite direction..."I'd be CRAZY to deal with that".

Someone recently asked me if I wanted to have kids. My answer: I'm afraid that if I don't, I'll regret it. And it occurred to me later that that could be the most selfish thing I've ever said out loud. I fully admit to being a selfish person. As much of a whiner and pessimist/realist (which are basically the same thing) as I am, I do like my life. Could it be better? Hell yeah. Could it be worse? Fucking-A Right.

Let's ask the ovaries...how much ya got left in ya? If I decide in a year that I'd be crazy to not have kids, will you still love me and produce? And only produce one at a time and none of this three fucking fertilized eggs business? And if I decide I'd be crazy to have kids, are you gonna shrivel right the fuck up and get cancer? Well? Well? Answer me dammit! I demand answers! Because Jeebus only knows I can't decide for myself.

Comments

Life said…
well, if you don't have kids, who is going to change your old person diaper and keep you out of the nursing home? plus- grandkids! everyone loves grandkids! gotta fast forward 30 years and decide if expanding the clan would make you happier in the long run. hard to say for sure but i know that nothing seems to make my parents and grandparents happier than their grandbabies.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
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