I Still Can't Believe It

I found this post in a drafts folder. So, I wrote it in 2008...sue me. Not sure why I didn't post it when I wrote it (and why didn't I capitalize anything?), but here you go: In the first three months of 2008, I've been to six different countries, flying out of a city that doesn't offer direct international flights (save Mexico), so I think I can safely give my perspective on the pros and cons of traveling with the masses in the cattle car world of coach air travel. Pros: - sunrise and sunset at 30,000 feet, especially when there's a low cloud ceiling. - a clear day when flying over mountains or the north pole. i've never been to the Alps, but I've seen them from 35,000 feet and they're spectacular. same goes for Greenland and the glaciers. - there's an odd solitude to flying that I find peaceful. surrounded by strangers, you can live inside your head quite peacefully for a few hours. - in-seat entertainment (when you can get it) is really pretty...

And I mean that literally and figuratively. Brain dead is the most apt description for my current state of mind, and no, it's not because that's my only state of mind. I've just gotten home from Hong Kong and my mind is mush after not having slept much in the last 10 days. Quite frankly, I drank way too much alcohol in that time frame. So much that the bartenders at McSorley's Irish pub in the Macau Venetian all knew my name and gave me hugs when I checked out. And THEN I went and spent the weekend with JP, who has been known to drink to excess and speaks of his liver in capital letters. Poor planning on my part - or rather, a complete lack of any plan because that's how I roll apparently. What is sure to make the highlight reels of this liquid-loving weekend is the part where I tripped getting out of a taxi and ended up face-first on the pavement outside the fourth pub of the night. God bless JP for picking me up, dusting me off and quickly steering me into th...

It's a shocker, I know. I even paid an extra $119 (that I probably can't expense) to have a seat in "Economy Plus", which United says gives you "up to 5 extra inches of leg room". What gives with the "up to" part? I might have enjoyed that extra leg room, but the girl sitting next to me that kept coming back to her seat right after we got our meals pretty much negated any joy I would have had about it. All in all though, I can't complain about the trip out here to Macau. We left just a few minutes late from STL and the Chicago leg left right on time. A mere 15 hours later found me in the Hong Kong airport with a five-hour layover to wait for the next ferry to Macau. That's a long time to spend in Starbucks, let me tell you. By the time I got to my hotel room, it had been 30 hours since I started my journey. And the most delicious part was finally being able to be horizontal. My hotel room at The Venetian (currently the world's l...

That was one helluva trip. I was supposed to be gone for about 12 days in Amsterdam and London and trust me when I say I used every ounce of my 50 pound luggage limit when I was packing. When I checked my bag, it came to 49.7 lbs and that was packing with the intention of wearing some of the clothes more than once. Jeans are good for at least two wearings, right? Then some time last week, the bosses told me I needed to go to Malta ASAP. Which meant that my total time being gone was extended to 15 days. And of course, my return trip from Malta to London didn't get in in time to make the long haul flight back to the States, so I had to spend another night in the oh so lovely Gatwick Hilton. I was a busy bee for the duration. Had a great time in Amsterdam, which I think is pretty normal. I mean, you'd have to TRY and have a bad time there. It goes without saying that it's a unique city. One night, we went to a bar and played pool with a nice Irish lad. When asked wha...

I'm in the Minneapolis airport enjoying a Sam Adams and biding my time for leg numero dos of a three leg journey to Malta. STL to Minnesota to London Gatwick where we get our bags and re-check onto the Air Malta flight to our final destination. Sigh. And the only reason I can give this update is because I've forked over $9.95/month for the next three months for airport WIFI. Why did I buy this? Well, that's because when we landed, I tried to turn on my iPhone and when I switched from airplane mode to normal mode, it froze. And stayed frozen for an hour until I could get online and find out WTF was up and how the hell to reset the thing. Disaster narrowly averted, I tell you. I'm pretty sure my freak out would have been epic if my phone just up and died before I even left the country on a 9-day jaunt. It's not so much because I must be contact-able at all times. I was a late adopter of the cell phone and if I leave it at home for the day, it's not going...

There is definitely a pattern around here. About two weeks before I leave town for a work trip, this place gets real, real quiet. The biggest reason for this that no matter how pretty and shiny this Mac looks, it's still a computer underneath and after playing at work for 50+ hours in front of a monitor, the last thing that excites me is sitting down in front of a computer. Stuff's been happening though and we've been busy here in Stinky Dog Land. For instance, did you know they sell clear wrapping paper? It's basically saran wrap and I ask the universe: WHY? Why oh why would anyone produce, package, market and sell clear wrapping paper? It defeats the entire purpose of wrapping paper. And why would anyone actually BUY clear wrapping paper? Well, I bought it thinking it was a silver foil type of wrapping paper because the buggers put some foil just around the cardboard tube so that it LOOKED like silver wrapping paper. I guess next time I'm going for the ...

Just when you think you're riding a high...life comes at you both barrels blazing. I'm still ril ril excited about the new technology parts, don't get me wrong. The iPhone is, how shall I put this?, fucking awesome. I haven't gotten my first bill yet. so there's still ample opportunity for AT&Torture to screw it up royally, but for real? There's just nothing like it out there. That I've seen. Shut up haters. And the Macbook, god love her. She's so pretty and clean. And boots up before you can say "Windows can suck it". And is just very un-Windowslike all around. So yeah, these technology parts are good for once. I'm not taking that for granted. But then I had to go and get some kind of sinus-y, stuffy, cold-y, move-to-my-lungs thingy on Saturday, only the nicest day of the year. And then Sunday, I got to remember what it's like to have hives in case I'd forgotten in the last blissfull month and a half without them. ...

At least, not internationally, until October. Even if I wanted to I couldn't, since my passport is now officially full. This last trip cluttered it up with four stamps in London and two stamps from Malta, plus the one re-entry stamp in DC. I only had three empty spots before I left. I'm pretty damn glad to have this travel hiatus. The first half of this year has been pretty ridiculous with the amount of traveling - I didn't even unpack my toiletry kit between the last two trips and I found that a little depressing. Of course, I haven't yet unpacked the stupid toiletry kit yet from this trip, so maybe I was just depressed because of the sheer invincibility of my laziness. So now I must get caught up on all of the shit I've put off and delayed for the last six months. Namely, taxes and bills, but there's other stuff I've let slide - like staying in touch (and therefore on the good side) with my inlaws. I'd say I haven't been doing a very good jo...

One travel nightmare...check. One lost luggage...check. Two extremely sore feet and legs...check. One stress diet with no appetite for the last 48 hours...check. Such is my life at the conference. I did receive my luggage at 6:20 am on Tuesday morning, so at least that part worked out. I had just gotten out of the shower and had used body lotion and conditioner as hair products, so when the porter knocked and brought my bag in, the first thing I did after kissing him and prostrating myself at his feet, was jump back in the shower to use my own hair products. Nothing will kill what little confidence I sometimes have at these events quicker than a big ball of frizz on top of my head. I am grateful for hair products. I'll have to tell the full horror story of the trip some other time, but suffice it to say that in the future, I will be avoiding American Airlines and Fucking O'Hare at all costs from now until eternity. If I never have to fly through Fucking O'Hare again, i...

On Sunday, I go to Montreal for work. By Thursday of next week, this bit of my work - this bit that has been sucking my soul dry for the last six months - will be over. I'm not as worried about it now as I have been, mostly because it's out of my control at this point, but it's been a source of constant angst for long enough. Right before these conferences that I go to, I usually go shopping for one piece of clothing that will make an old outfit new again. For this trip, I've been searching without luck for a jacket. Not a suit jacket really, because that's just not how I roll, yo. But just a regular, nicely tailored jacket that will get dressed up with the right shirt. Today I found the perfect jacket, but it was a size smaller than I'd usually even try on. I tried it on. It's just a wee bit tight in the arms, but otherwise - love it. I had the random thought "I could have my arms lipo'ed so it would fit better. But then I'd be gettin...

I guess the more frequently you fly, the more opportunities there are for weird shit to happen. On the flight from Vienna to London, our plane "hit several birds" according to the cap'n. All I know is that shortly after takeoff, there was a loud thump after which proceeded a fairly noxious smell and the flight attendant getting up and looking at both engines, then getting on the horn to the cockpit. The cap'n's little speech also included the comforting "these engines are built to withstand such events, so we're proceeding as normal to our destination". I thought the whole flight after that point felt wonky...just kind of off. Then again I had basically only had a nap the previous night, instead of being a normal person and getting a full six or even seven hours of sleep before undertaking a marathon of taxis (1), airports (4) and planes (3) in the span of 15 or so hours. Right. Looking back, it seems like that was a recurring theme to this trip: get...

Which means I'll just have to tell the rest of the story via pictures. The lake outside the Summer Palace. Just a short drive from Beijing city, it was raining proper by the time we arrived. The lake was pretty much invisible. But I really like how this picture turned out. It's not shot in B/W either. These are candied sweet potato fries. They were piping hot when they were served. You grabbed a few with the chopsticks and pulled them straight up off the pile. The little strings are like molten hard candy and once you have a lot of longevity (as evidenced by how high you could pull the fries up and still have candied webs), you dipped the fries in that little bowl of water next to Plate of Fiery Love in order to cool them off to just under the temperature of the sun and eat them. De-fucking-lish. A path outside the Temple of Heaven. I really love this picture. I wonder what those two were talking about. I wondered that a lot on this trip. Not being able to communicate makes me ...

On Friday, we went to the blah blah blah Jade "factory", then the Ming tombs, then the enamel "factory" then the Great Wall, and then finished off with blah blah blah Peking Duck. I think I peaked too soon with that ginormous post yesterday. It's true that the first day was a fucking whirlwind and I was cream crackered at 9:30 when we finally got back to the hotel. And day two was another day of Dead Emporer Sites galore. Can you believe I've only been back for three days and I'm already this jaded? Standby while I slap myself and then climb out of my Hole O' Pity. Right then. Where was I? Yes, day two in Beijing. The "factories" were government-owned shops where a girl (always a girl, lower to mid-20's) would rattle off a brief history of the intricacies of whichever factory we were at. At various points during the guided tour, we went to the jade factory, the enamel factory (where they make cloisonne trinkets and vases and jewe...

I'm going to start out by saying that I think everyone should try to travel internationally at least once in their lives. One of the things I really noticed on this trip was how much being in a foreign place makes you question your assumptions. Everyone knows assumptions are bad mmmkay, but that doesn't stop us from making them. But when you're someplace so far from home and so far from the culture you were raised in, the obvious doesn't seem so obvious. And questioning things keeps us alert and young and...I don't know...alive in a way? We (my boss, her husband and another co-worker) had a guide/translator and a driver. We paid $340 plus about $100 in tips for six days worth of driving and sight-seeing, as well as our lunch and dinner meals. Beijing is working on adding a lot of English signage at tourist sites and in common areas for the impending Olympics in 2008, but it's pretty much impossible to get around if you don't speak Mandarin. So, this was a go...

Sometimes traveling can be relatively pain-free and smooth. Other times, well, not so much. I probably shouldn't complain too much as I did eventually make it everywhere I needed to go, including back home last night. So, I'll put more in "The Good" section than "The Bad" section and that will qualify as not complaining. The Good (as in Hindsight is My Friend): On both long haul flights between Chicago and London I managed to have a row of three seats to myself. If you've ever experienced this, you know that it's a million times more comfortable than being on a packed flight, but is still far from what anyone would consider "comfortable", unless you're lucky enough to have no nerve endings. Or need for blood circulation. My luggage was with me for the most important leg of the trip. I know it's just STUFF, but I can honestly say I wanted that stuff badly. Travel Cassady and Travel Corn Dog were in there! I got to spend three days...

It's official: I'm going to Beijing. This trip will have many Firsts. For instance: First time needing a visa for entry to a country. One of the questions on the application form: "Purpose of your journey in China." Gooooooood question! To attain enlightenment? To mold a new vision of myself within the greater scheme of life and the world? To be a tourist? First time visiting a communist country. I went to Hong Kong last year, but that doesn't count as a communist country in my book. Why? Because. Don't ask so many questions. They don't like it when you ask so many questions. First time flying on a plane that has a dragon on it. Why does this excite me? It's called DragaonAir for pete's sake, of COURSE it'll have a dragon on it. First time visiting a place where it's pretty much required to enlist the services of a guide/translator because literally nobody there speaks the same language as I do. The prospect of this simult...