I Still Can't Believe It

I have a lot of magnets on my refrigerator and I've only just noticed how varied their messages are. Some examples of magnetic philosophy from my refrigerator: "If it smells good, eat it!" On the surface, this seems like well-thought out advice. But when peering deeper into the meaning and with the added knowledge that this magnet is one of those close-up, disproportionate angle pictures of a dog, I start to get suspicious. They say dogs have this intense sense of smell, but have you seen some of the things dogs will try to eat? I rest my case. "Lovely day for a Guinness" I defy you to find a day that would not be a fine day for a Guinness. "Hooray Beer!" This simple philosophical statement could seem like the above Guinness motto, but this one goes deeper I think. It's all encompassing in it's love for beer, not singling out any one flavor (although it is a Red Stripe magnet) and I appreciate that willingness to embrace all kinds. ...

Ahh, the start of a new year. I can see why people feel the need to make resolutions as there's just something about that calendar change that evokes a feeling of anything's possible. Like, sure, it's possible I'll stick to a diet or, it's possible I'll really and truly quit smoking this year, and it's even possible I will stop picking my nose. And whether it's pure cynicism or a mixture of that with a side order of negativity, I didn't make any resolutions. I can't actually remember the last time I tried. Might have been that ill-advised resolution to stomp on the gas at yellow lights that resulted in the only accident I've had in a few years...can't be sure though. Some resolutions I considered: Quit smoking. This one is too tired and it's never worked. I still want to quit, but if I can't just do it, I can't do it at all. I'm gonna do it, but it won't be because of some throwaway resolution. Don't t...

There is definitely a pattern around here. About two weeks before I leave town for a work trip, this place gets real, real quiet. The biggest reason for this that no matter how pretty and shiny this Mac looks, it's still a computer underneath and after playing at work for 50+ hours in front of a monitor, the last thing that excites me is sitting down in front of a computer. Stuff's been happening though and we've been busy here in Stinky Dog Land. For instance, did you know they sell clear wrapping paper? It's basically saran wrap and I ask the universe: WHY? Why oh why would anyone produce, package, market and sell clear wrapping paper? It defeats the entire purpose of wrapping paper. And why would anyone actually BUY clear wrapping paper? Well, I bought it thinking it was a silver foil type of wrapping paper because the buggers put some foil just around the cardboard tube so that it LOOKED like silver wrapping paper. I guess next time I'm going for the ...

A co-worker of mine lives out in the country, in a neighboring county that is widely characterized by it's meth labs and backwoods-inspired attire of a majority of it's citizens. And I can see why she prefers it: a lake, a golf course, gated community to keep out the riff raff, that type of thing. But there are serious drawbacks, of which any one of them would be deal-breakers for me. Such as: The Commute: She drives easily 50 miles in traffic each way, every week day, through three counties. The Crazies: The crazy of the not-quite-rural-not-quite-urban folk should not be underestimated. Her interaction is generally limited to retail and restaurant encounters, and a common beginning to any of her stories is something along the lines of "When I stopped for gas the other day, this extra-creepy guy in a big truck ____________ (fill in the blank with something civilized people only do behind tightly shut and locked doors with the windows covered over with newspaper). Thi...

Tuesday is soccer night. Last week in a moment of drunken weakness, I said I'd play with another team tonight if they needed me. Well, they need me and it just so happens that their game is right before my own team's game. So back-to-backers. I give it about 15 minutes into the second game before my lungs revolt and go all code red on me. Surfer Boy's Dad will be in town for the next 10 days or so. They're talking like they're going to install an exterior door that will one day lead to our yet-to-be-purchased hot tub, and while I know they're both ridiculously handy and carpenterriffic, I just think there's going to be too much else going on for them to finish. I'm sorry to say this is a half-empty glass type of view since the last time Papa Surfer came out, they installed a new kitchen floor so there's absolutely no cause for me to be so pessimistic. Must be one of those days. Went to "The Lake" last weekend. I was beset with hives during ...