Pros and Cons of Air Travel

I found this post in a drafts folder. So, I wrote it in 2008...sue me. Not sure why I didn't post it when I wrote it (and why didn't I capitalize anything?), but here you go:

In the first three months of 2008, I've been to six different countries, flying out of a city that doesn't offer direct international flights (save Mexico), so I think I can safely give my perspective on the pros and cons of traveling with the masses in the cattle car world of coach air travel.

Pros:
- sunrise and sunset at 30,000 feet, especially when there's a low cloud ceiling.
- a clear day when flying over mountains or the north pole. i've never been to the Alps, but I've seen them from 35,000 feet and they're spectacular. same goes for Greenland and the glaciers.
- there's an odd solitude to flying that I find peaceful. surrounded by strangers, you can live inside your head quite peacefully for a few hours.
- in-seat entertainment (when you can get it) is really pretty awesome. they usually have newish movies and classics to choose from and, if you can get past the wee screen, it magically makes the time fly by.
- ginger ale. i wouldn't know about the deliciousness if it wasn't for the weirdly high ratio of people that order ginger ale on flights. i heard it calms the stomach, so maybe that's why so many people on flights order it. either way, ginger ale, i'm glad i met ya.
- every once in a while, you get sat next to or strike up a conversation with someone at the gate that is memorable. i've met some incredibly interesting people in airports and airplanes.

Cons:
- some people are just plain rude. from pulling on the back of your seat to get up to the ones that can't get off the plane fast enough and will run over everybody in their mad dash, something about air travel brings out the worst in some people.
- the air inside the plane. it's bereft of moisture and sucks it clean out of every pore and mucous membrane.
- swollen ankles, feet and legs. those seats are about as soft as a park bench and if the flight is full, leg maneuverability goes down to about nil.
- trying to figure out whether or not you should try and sleep and then actually trying to sleep. sometimes it's better to get on local time if you don't sleep or sleep at the beginning or the end of the flight. forget comfort, it doesn't exist in coach so good luck trying to go to sleep when your body clock thinks it's 7:00 pm.
- the smells. oh dear god, the smells. i'd be lying if i didn't admit that sometimes it was myself that was intestinally-challenged.
- turbulence. it's really more of an annoyance because it always happens during the drink or meal service and they have to stop serving or you've just gotten a full glass of orange juice.
- full flights. just think about 300 rude, dehydrated, swollen, sleep-deprived, gassy, and juice-stained people stuck in a tube for 8-15 hours at a stretch. yeah, not pretty.

I have a feeling this list is missing a few items, so let's consider this Installment Numero Uno.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I feel like I check your blog somewhat regularly (99.9% of the time to no avail), yet here is this post from THREE MONTHS ago. When will I just admit The Truth? I don't check it very often! Not very often at all.

This post made me giggle. Thanks for dusting it off and sharing it with my buttcheeks.

Also, something embarrassing just happened. You're not on Skype, so I'll just have to tell you via your blog comment section. That makes the most sense right now. So, I realized a few moments ago that I needed to fart. I foolishly thought it would be silent...possibly deadly, but definitely silent! Alas, it was not! I'm too scared to stand up and see if there are any co-workers in the cubicles next to me, but I am desperately praying that there are not!

Please regale us with additional blog posts in the coming days and months! Come back to us, Corndog! Come back!!

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