When Animals Attack, Part 2
A few of my more loyal readers may remember a story I told a few months ago about The Great Squirrel Attack of 2006. And either something is very wrong with my karma or I've had a bout of wrong-place-wrong-time situations with animals this year because the story I'm about to tell you is 100% true. Believe it or not.
The Scene:
I sat in the middle orange chair this Saturday. Minding my own business. Drinking cappucino and smoking cigarettes (man, I need to quit - I despise the habit and am ashamed to smoke sometimes.). Anyway, I was sitting here enjoying the sun and the weekend when I felt something land on the top of my head. Now, I'm sitting under a peach tree. A peach tree that has a LOT of peaches on it. Granted, they're not ripe and you wouldn't expect them to fall, but I've seen some on the ground already. Those that aren't making the grade are already being cut and tossed aside like yesterday's rotten rice. But whatever landed on my head bounced off and bounced right onto my leg. Which, when I looked down expecting to see a peach and saw/felt a wriggly, furry, feathery, pudgy little bird on my leg, freaked my mutha fuckin' shit out.
Peach Tree - SEE, peaches...
I guess it may not have been all that uncommon considering I was sitting under a bird's nest. The poor thing's shit sack couldn't handle the impact with my head and thus unleashed a bit of poo onto my shirt. The part that landed on the ground on the expulsion of said shit sack was way bigger than what landed on me so thank gawd for that small favor. Then, to add insult to injury, Corn Dog's innate sensing of weak prey kicked into gear and she was all over the little guy. We pulled her off pretty quick though and it managed to waddle over into the corner of the yard. We came back outside about an hour later and when Corn Dog went running at full speed out the door, as she's wont to do because no other living creature is allowed in our back yard, we noticed the little bugger trying to scurry to the closest bit of freedom it could find. The other side of the fence became it's frantic goal. Corn Dog is flippin fast though and she was on that thing quicker 'n a fly on shit. I literally screamed her name to get her off of it - I didn't want her chawing on a bird...it could have the dreaded bird flu!!!!!!!!111!! Anyway, she got a couple of good chomps on it before she finally backed off. Before I could grab the camera, the bird had broken the plane of the fence and was clucking it's way up the dirt hill we tried to hide with the fence.
To wit - there's a bird in this picture...THE bird. It's in the upper right hand corner. (Click on the picture to go to Flickr and see a full-size version. It's blurry, but GD it's there.)(I just said GD - WTF?)
PS. Blogger hates me. It took me a bloody month of Sundays to get this damn post to play nice. Arg! It's drivin' me nuts!)
The Scene:
I sat in the middle orange chair this Saturday. Minding my own business. Drinking cappucino and smoking cigarettes (man, I need to quit - I despise the habit and am ashamed to smoke sometimes.). Anyway, I was sitting here enjoying the sun and the weekend when I felt something land on the top of my head. Now, I'm sitting under a peach tree. A peach tree that has a LOT of peaches on it. Granted, they're not ripe and you wouldn't expect them to fall, but I've seen some on the ground already. Those that aren't making the grade are already being cut and tossed aside like yesterday's rotten rice. But whatever landed on my head bounced off and bounced right onto my leg. Which, when I looked down expecting to see a peach and saw/felt a wriggly, furry, feathery, pudgy little bird on my leg, freaked my mutha fuckin' shit out.
Peach Tree - SEE, peaches...
I guess it may not have been all that uncommon considering I was sitting under a bird's nest. The poor thing's shit sack couldn't handle the impact with my head and thus unleashed a bit of poo onto my shirt. The part that landed on the ground on the expulsion of said shit sack was way bigger than what landed on me so thank gawd for that small favor. Then, to add insult to injury, Corn Dog's innate sensing of weak prey kicked into gear and she was all over the little guy. We pulled her off pretty quick though and it managed to waddle over into the corner of the yard. We came back outside about an hour later and when Corn Dog went running at full speed out the door, as she's wont to do because no other living creature is allowed in our back yard, we noticed the little bugger trying to scurry to the closest bit of freedom it could find. The other side of the fence became it's frantic goal. Corn Dog is flippin fast though and she was on that thing quicker 'n a fly on shit. I literally screamed her name to get her off of it - I didn't want her chawing on a bird...it could have the dreaded bird flu!!!!!!!!111!! Anyway, she got a couple of good chomps on it before she finally backed off. Before I could grab the camera, the bird had broken the plane of the fence and was clucking it's way up the dirt hill we tried to hide with the fence.To wit - there's a bird in this picture...THE bird. It's in the upper right hand corner. (Click on the picture to go to Flickr and see a full-size version. It's blurry, but GD it's there.)(I just said GD - WTF?)
PS. Blogger hates me. It took me a bloody month of Sundays to get this damn post to play nice. Arg! It's drivin' me nuts!)
Comments
to wit, i think the baby bird was drawn to your maternal instincts.