I'm the Lyrical Jesse James

...which means I steal lyrics, right? I heard that line in a 90's song (coincidentally, the one that I thought said "It's gettin, it's gettin, it's gettin kinda hectic" but I only now realize they're saying HEAVY, not hectic) and I can't figure out why you'd want to promote yourself as a lyrical thief.

In other news, I've completely failed at maintaining the calm demeanor I worked so hard at cultivating during my voluntary solitude of just two short weeks ago. It promptly vanished like a fart in the wind upon my arrival at the office. I wonder if the Europeans have this problem after having been holidaying for two solid weeks in August. If any of you work with Europeans, you know that several companies pretty much clock out for the entire month - good luck getting an email reply or a returned phone call. Some get an entire MONTH off. Can you imagine? What does their inbox look like when they get back? I dread the thought considering I'm STILL not caught up from missing five freaking days.

And how cool would it be to routinely go to Mallorca or Paris or Amsterdam for a holiday? All of these cultural centers are so close together and travel between them is so cheap and easy that I've stopped asking Europeans where they're going on holiday. They inevitably ask where I'm going/have gone and I feel like a neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie saying "Oh, I went to a big lake about a 2-hour drive from home" after they've replied "I'm staying two weeks in Santorini and another week in Turkey" or some such diverse itinerary.

If you lived in Europe, where would you most want to spend your two-week vacation?

Comments

Anonymous said…
I guess it would depend on where I lived in Europe, but I think a holiday in Italy (Venice and Florence) would be ideal.
C-C-C-Corn Dog said…
J - Don't miss Rome! I've not been there, but seems like it would be a vast miscarriage of justice if you went to Italy and didn't go to Rome.
Life said…
I always thought it was, "Gettin' kinda hectic" as well. Isn't that the "I've got the power!" song they play in the beginning of Fisher King? There that movie is again- it keeps coming up. We were talking about it the morning because the old Mr. Noodle on Sesame Street was the guy who sang "Lydia the tattooed lady" in the movie. He died a few years back :(

And if I were in Europe? I don't even know where I'd start. How about Ireland as an ode to my heritage. I want to go everywhere.
Life said…
Okay, I was curious & feel the need to share. Mr. Noodle's Brother was Michael Jeater, the guy from Fisher King until he died in 2003. BUT! Mr Noodle himself is Bill Irwin who was "The Flying Man" who never spoke on Northern Exposure. See the interesting things you learn from Elmo's World? You never know who you'll meet on Sesame Street.
C-C-C-Corn Dog said…
K - Actually, Robin Williams sings the Lydia song when they're at dinner in the Fisher King. I think you're talking about the singing telegram dude. Good choice on Ireland...would be a perfect launching point for the whirlwind Bitches in Europe Tour.
JDW said…
If I lived in Europe, I'd have killed myself a long time ago. Dead people don't need vacations.
Life said…
You are right, I am thinking of the singing telegram dude, not Robin Williams but you know what I meant. I was jealous that you had six comments on this post (now seven!) until I realized half were from me or you. Jason hates Europe, puppies and rainbows.
JDW said…
Regarding Puppies: Hate seems like too strong a word. I don't know what word is appropriate for my feelings but I do know that I appreciate the efforts to quell the population by Bob Barker and the Chinese food industry.

Regarding Rainbows: I like rainbows. They are pretty. I even like Rainbow Brite. So don't be all like I'm a hater. I'm no rainbow hater.

As a matter of fact, I've just decided to create a charitable organization: Rainbow Rescue. I'm accepting donations right now and 100% of the proceeds will go towards saving rainbows. In your world of excess and debauchery, will you not put a little aside for the rainbow? Maybe YOU hate rainbows.
C-C-C-Corn Dog said…
K - Envy is a mortal sin, doncha know? They're just comments for the love of Pete, don't banish your soul to everlasting hellfire because of a few comments.

J - So, are you trying to say there's no where in Europe you'd like to see? And yes, please sign me up for a $150 donation to Rainbow Rescue. Doesn't anyone else CARE about the rainbows and their struggle to survive?
Life said…
I am against rainbows and their dodgy, left wing agenda. I for one do not welcome our ROY G BIV overlords.

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