Random Questions

  • What is it about getting old that requires you to execute a turn in your car at 1 mph?
  • What could the founders of the company "Stinky Fish Poker" have possibly been thinking when they came up with that for a corporate name?
  • Where can I find a pair of gloves that don't have the finger tips? Obviously I could hack up a perfectly good pair of gloves and get the same effect, but since I'll be wearing these while typing, I don't want any of the little strings left from the hacking to get in the way of my lightening fast typing skills.
  • How un-American is it of me to not want to Buy! Buy! Buy! Christmas gifts?
  • How will we ever be able to top our Halloween costume of 2005 (feminine hygiene products for all of you that purged that memory already)? I have exactly 4 days to figure out a costume. Crap.
  • Why are there now 14 pairs of shoes on the telephone/power lines outside of my office?
  • Why am I so fascinated with the shoes on the wires that I count them every. single. day?
  • Are there any pre-emptive measures I can take to avoid bruising at the brush of a feather?
  • Do you want to see my bruise?
  • Where are all the good men dead? In the heart or in the head? (Name that movie)
  • Am I done with this ridiculously inane post yet?

Comments

Brian said…
Who am I? Where am I? And why am I eating cheese and cake in the nude?
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Life said…
Grosse Point Blank.
Martin:Okay, would ya mind, just skip to the end.
Bob: To... the very end? "For a while."
Martin Q. Blank: Whew. That's good man.
Bob: "For a while."
Martin Q. Blank: That's excellent!
Bob: You wanna do some blow?
Martin Q. Blank: No I don't.

and i'm so finding a picture of you guys as feminie hygiene products.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
JP said…
Sorry, can't help on any of them except to suggest avoiding feathers!
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
C-C-C-Corn Dog said…
Turns out, the furnace in the part of the office where I sit was not actually working. Now? Much much warmer. Although I do sit next to two giant "windows". I use quotes because the wind kinda blows right through them somehow.

Hi Pilgrim! Glad you could join us and comment. To my loyal readers, I went to high school with Pilgrim and he was one of the FEW people in my class that I truly liked.

JP, but I love feathers!

Jasoners? It's high time you got a blog. But thank you for answering or attempting to answer all of my stupid questions. Oh and to the "holiday spirit" part I say BAH FUCKING HUMBUG
Friday, October 27, 2006
JP said…
Sorry Dawn but its feathers and bruises or no feathers and silky smooth unblemished skin, your choice!

And the spirit of Christmas... not that I'm really into that sort of thing but wasn't the original theory more to do with the birth of the son of god, salvation for the mortal souls of mankind and the celebration of the Christian faith more than running up credit card bills!?!

(for the record my spirit of Christmas is whiskey if anyone has spare CC capacity!)
Monday, October 30, 2006
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hey look! Are those cookies over there?

Will that post title work to distract you from the long slog between posts that seems to have become the norm? If yes, awesome, you're my kind of distracted. If not, toughen up, there's an arduous journey ahead of you and you should really save your strength for something more important to worry about...like toe hair and nose grease. And since that last might have sounded like some kind of advice, please heed my warning to never ever EVER, under penalty of looking stupid, take my advice on anything. "What do I know" is a common disclaimer I add to the ends of sentences in real life. If you want to get into the semantics of it, what do any of us really know ? Nothing is a foregone conclusion - I mean, just ask Pluto. You go for years being considered an equal and then some squinty-eyed scientists decide to strip you of your very lifeblood - who will ever learn to care about a non-planet? I guess lately I have been fooled into complacency, thinking I know somethin...
Read more

Travel Dogs

Image
bahamas05 030 Originally uploaded by Corn Dog . We're back from the Bahamas and now have moved seamlessly into the roles of guest entertainers. Dirty Gravy's Mom & Step Joe are in town for a week - they arrived the day after we got back into town, so it's been a bit hectic. Still have all of our gift shopping to finish and of course, I've managed to come down with a rockin' head cold. I'm not complaining though, I really hate chest colds and so far, this one's stayed in the sinus region. I'll be back early next week to relate the tale of the Sex Hex of the Bahamas and profess my love of Zicam.
Read more

Like Fruit: Easily Bruised

If I could take photos of my bruises that accurately reflected the depth of color and relational size, I'd probably start a bruise blog wherein I could diarize the comings and goings of my colorful skin. This week's soccer game left me with a couple on my arm and a lovely, huge, and frightfully painful one on my shin. It's so bad, I might have to sit out next week as the thought of anything even brushing up against it makes my eyes water. And sitting out fries my eggs...I pay to play so if I'm in town and physically able to be there, I'm there. What's more, I'm pretty sure my psyche is just as easily bruised. Maybe if I could, say, eat a lot of pineapple and that would cure my subcutaneous bruising, I could find some remedy for the bruising I take regularly to my soul? Something like rubbing shedded dog hair on my eyebrows would be good, lord knows I've got plenty of dog hair at my disposal. Don't get me wrong, most of the soul bruising is sel...
Read more