...which means I steal lyrics, right? I heard that line in a 90's song (coincidentally, the one that I thought said "It's gettin, it's gettin, it's gettin kinda hectic" but I only now realize they're saying HEAVY, not hectic) and I can't figure out why you'd want to promote yourself as a lyrical thief. In other news, I've completely failed at maintaining the calm demeanor I worked so hard at cultivating during my voluntary solitude of just two short weeks ago. It promptly vanished like a fart in the wind upon my arrival at the office. I wonder if the Europeans have this problem after having been holidaying for two solid weeks in August. If any of you work with Europeans, you know that several companies pretty much clock out for the entire month - good luck getting an email reply or a returned phone call. Some get an entire MONTH off. Can you imagine? What does their inbox look like when they get back? I dread the thought considering I...
I'm not a real big fan of my birthday mostly because I'm a big baby and don't want to get old. But also because it bugs me that somehow it's up to the person whose birthday it is to decide what to do to celebrate it. My position is that friends or family should take on the coordinating duties so as to relieve the celebratee of the burden of making a decision. Doesn't everyone hate making decisions as much as I do? Most years, someone will call and ask what I'm doing for my birthday and I would scramble to come up with something that sounded fun although, inevitably, I'd be in a sorry frame of mind to make such plans due to my "woe is me, I'm old" moaning. This year is different, I'm happy to report. Not only is JoySoy Habanero taking me, my Mom and Super Sue to a Cardinals game AND making sure I don't have to drive in an inebriated state Sunday night, but I also have a fantastic idea of what my family should do for me: have a pie ...
...a once long-lost friend comes back into the fold of your life? Mr. FivePants, it was damn good to see you again. Don't be a stranger. ...your muscles ache from exertion? Sure, you might wince at every movement and going to the bathroom is an exercise in agony, but there's definitely the upside of not feeling quite as sedentary as usual. Of course, my exertion was trying to curve bowl and the only muscle that hurts is my right bicep, but you know what I mean. ...the softest dog in the whole world is cuddled up next to you when you're sad? Corn Dog's ears are like butta. Silky, smooth, butta. And she's so nice and warm. A big, warm, sausage-shaped ball of fuzz. It's like therapy only not as expensive. ...your friends show infinite patience as they try to explain, for the umpteenth time, why you shouldn't beat yourself up? My masochistic streak runneth over. I have been blessed with a style of self-deprecation that can suck up the last ray of suns...
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