...which means I steal lyrics, right? I heard that line in a 90's song (coincidentally, the one that I thought said "It's gettin, it's gettin, it's gettin kinda hectic" but I only now realize they're saying HEAVY, not hectic) and I can't figure out why you'd want to promote yourself as a lyrical thief. In other news, I've completely failed at maintaining the calm demeanor I worked so hard at cultivating during my voluntary solitude of just two short weeks ago. It promptly vanished like a fart in the wind upon my arrival at the office. I wonder if the Europeans have this problem after having been holidaying for two solid weeks in August. If any of you work with Europeans, you know that several companies pretty much clock out for the entire month - good luck getting an email reply or a returned phone call. Some get an entire MONTH off. Can you imagine? What does their inbox look like when they get back? I dread the thought considering I...
My horoscope today said that "my insecurity has taken on a life of its own". That's comforting. Now I remember why I quit reading horoscopes. Although, I thought I was just making the title up with this reference to Saturn rising, but as it turns out, my astrological chart really does say that Saturn is my ascendant planet right now. I'm super fucking in tune with my planets, so just keep that in mind. It's my secret weapon. In other news, have you ever had that problem where you have absolutely so much going on and so much to do, that you find yourself unable to start and complete one simple task? Take for instance, a blog post. I must have started writing on four separate posts in the last week, yet you can easily see nothing new posted in that time frame. I'm guilting on the fact that I haven't posted in so long. Generally, I wouldn't care so much - at least not enough to feel guilty about it - but the wicked knowledge that there are a few hardy sou...
...a once long-lost friend comes back into the fold of your life? Mr. FivePants, it was damn good to see you again. Don't be a stranger. ...your muscles ache from exertion? Sure, you might wince at every movement and going to the bathroom is an exercise in agony, but there's definitely the upside of not feeling quite as sedentary as usual. Of course, my exertion was trying to curve bowl and the only muscle that hurts is my right bicep, but you know what I mean. ...the softest dog in the whole world is cuddled up next to you when you're sad? Corn Dog's ears are like butta. Silky, smooth, butta. And she's so nice and warm. A big, warm, sausage-shaped ball of fuzz. It's like therapy only not as expensive. ...your friends show infinite patience as they try to explain, for the umpteenth time, why you shouldn't beat yourself up? My masochistic streak runneth over. I have been blessed with a style of self-deprecation that can suck up the last ray of suns...
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~ James
her alarms are going off
and this one just pooped
like low quality horse meat,
love China and France!
Sorry, I don't have pets so the only animals I know are the ones I eat...