I Still Can't Believe It

I have to vent to someone. And since I'm already cheesed off that no one else did a haiku to their pets, I'll just vent right here. My office arrangement is pretty nice. We don't have cubicles; we have a balcony that looks out on the first state capitol and the Missouri river; I've pretty much got my own little area; my co-workers deal with my constant stream of invective; they buy us soda. But the one downfall - the one that I'm focusing on today anyway - is that we don't have actual offices, it's just a bunch of open space. Generally speaking, it's a fine arrangement. Today though? The girl that sits closest to me has been coughing all day. Not like a little clearing of the throat - it's a dry, hacking cough that she sprays about every minute and a half. Actually, let me time it... ... Nope, it's every 53.4 seconds. I know she must be miserable. Nobody coughs that much and enjoys it. But the bitch of it is she's been doing it sin...

Corn Dog makes me smile Shiny-coated ball chaser Unmitigated Now, please, your turn - a haiku to your pet(s).

Jokingly, I've referred to many dogs as "mangy". Now, I have the distinct displeasure of being able to call my dog mangy and being accurate. I've been wondering for a while if his coat condition wasn't something like mange. The vet had previously done a skin scrape and didn't find any, but this trip to the vet on Thursday was a different story. When I got back home from Montreal last week, it looked like the hair around Cassady's eyes was almost totally gone. I made yet another appointment in the effort to get him to stop scratching so damn much and he needed his shots anyway. When I pointed out the eye thing to the vet, he said it was a classic symptom of mange, which is basically scabies, which is basically a mite that burrows into the skin - yay! If you've been to my house or been in contact with me or Cassady for the last year, you better go take a bath. You could have the dreaded SCABIES!!! Actually, that is highly unlikely and you would d...

Cassady and Travel Cassady Originally uploaded by Corn Dog . I know this picture being out there is probably causing an irreparable rift in the space time continuum, but I'm willing to take that chance. I think Cassady knows what it means when Travel Cassady comes out so I've yet to capture him looking at all enthused when T.C. is in the frame. But look how close their fur color is! If that isn't the perfect mini replica of Cassady, I don't know what is. I could post one of Corn Dog with her Travel alias, but she's so black that I don't think the Travel Corn Dog would even be visible in the picture.

I am so pissed off at myself right now. My life was pretty much going as smoothly as you could want it to go up until last week. I mean, it' s no glamour-filled, celebrity lifestyle and by all accounts it was pretty boring, even to me. But what's wrong with boring? Now that I don't feel like boring is the best description anymore, I want boring back and with the quickness. I can't put my finger on any one thing that did it, but internally, I'm all kinds of fucked up. And I'm pissed off because I have no one to blame but myself. This isn't to say that every single aspect of my life was how I wanted it - who has that? I'd like to meet them. But I think the difference that I'm feeling is that I at least thought I knew what I wanted. And now? Now I'm not even sure of that anymore. I keep thinking "What DO I want out of life?" and the answer is more elusive than ever. I feel like there's a crossroads coming up and the part that is making...

To answer my last burning question, no, I don't balance my checkbook. Not once. The bank could be completely fucking me and I wouldn't have the slightest idea. I'm back from the land of the Mounties and poutine . Oh Canada. The good news is I lost about 10 pounds while I was gone. A mixture of high stress and adrenaline levels, throw in a hyper-sensitive sense of appearance and a dash of no time to eat and you've got a winning diet apparently. The show went fairly well, blah blah blah. I can't be bothered with the details right now as I'm still completely muddy in the brain. That's the current update. Stay tuned for when my vocabulary and motivation return.

I'll be flying to Montreal on Sunday and in preparation, I've uploaded this handy airline safety guide to my Flickr account. Be sure to click on the image and then click on "All Sizes" so you can read the captions. In the event I don't have time to update ye olde blog while I'm gone, my apologies in advance. Feel free to leave in the comments of this post your answer to the following question and I will tell you all my answer upon my return: Do you balance your checkbook/checking account statements regularly? I know, not a very sexy question, but hey, it's important - or so I'm told.

Thank you Kimba . Bill Paxton will always be Chet of Weird Science to me. Kind of like how Rickie Schroeder will always be the kid from Silver Spoons and Bono will always wear the ugliest sunglasses. Things you can count on in life are rare. Embrace them. Embrace the Chet in you.

Bill Paxton will always be Chet to me. I don't care how much HBO tries to show me his bum, he's still Chet. And sometimes he's Chet in other movies. Like when he was in Aliens or Alien or whatever...the title of this post is my favorite line from him in that movie. He plays such a good wussy man. But the real reason the game is over for me has to do with work. Not to get into too much detail - let's suffice it to say that I'm damn close to fucked. Not just me though - all of us at work. Our server bit the big one on Sunday (while I was in the office ON.A.SUNDAY) and since then, have had no access to literally every single thing I need to make final preparations for our big conference/tradeshow next week. Did I say next week? Yeah, because I meant Holy Hell In A Handbasket NEXT WEEK. We did get access to new incoming emails (not anything saved in outlook or outlook folders mind you) yesterday and the prognosis is for "seamless restart" tomorrow morning. Let...

Curious Originally uploaded by Corn Dog . I've heard that they may be referring to a brand of lip balm with the Chicken Poop reference. I'm not so sure. My theory is that it's secret code and the Mormons are mobilizing their forces. Ye be warned.

Last night, Dave and I were sitting on the couch around 7:00 pm. I'd just gotten home from work and we were in the midst of our "medicinal" ritual when I got a chill. The weather got a little colder since the day before and all of our windows were still open. If you've never seen me get a chill, my body does a mini-convulsion type of a thing...if I could time it right and throw in a curse word or two, I'm sure I could pass for having Tourettes. Who knows? Maybe I do have it. But just a mild case. So without saying a word, Dave got up and closed all the windows. I asked him if he was cold and he replied that no, he wasn't, but noticed I got the chills. As I watched him close the windows throughout the house, I thought about how freaking sweet it was that he did that for me. He might not get every thing exactly right every single time, but he thinks about me and he truly wants to me to be happy and/or content. Apparently, no one told him he'd be fi...

Dear IRS, Please suck it. That is all. Regards, Corn Dog On Sunday, my dear sweet Mom "Cojone Joanie", came over to help me sort out the 5,000 and one tax issues we had going on. Between a mess up on our 2004 joint taxes and Dave's business tax issues (x 3 ...do you have any idea what a pain in the ass it is to be in business for yourself? The IRS hates small business owners. Hates them!) I have had enough of writing checks to the sum-bitchin' guvmint. But that was Sunday and it's Thursday you say? Yes I know, I can't even catch up on reading my daily dose of blogs. I have looked at my computer at home forlornly, sensing it's disappointment at my absence and thought "I can't be bothered to sit in front of the computer ANY MORE today! Take your dirty looks straight to hell!". And still, it sits there. I'm at work right now and am taking part of my 15 minutes of down time to scarf some Bread Company soup just to get me off the hoo...