I Still Can't Believe It

Growing up, I can clearly remember the phrase "The world does NOT revolve around you" being bandied about by my parents. Of course, I also remember hearing "Your butt pumps pond water" but that's beside the point. I've been accused of being selfish and it's only lately when taking stock of my life that I've come to realize that yes, I'm a pretty selfish person. So now what? Is this a shortcoming I should try to resolve? How can I become less selfish? I know! I'll start a blog, name it after my dog and then incessantly talk about myself and my "issues", real or imagined. That should start me on the road to becoming a recovering selfish person, don't you think? Oh. You don't think that'll help too much? Oh well then. Fuck it. Case in point: I've been seeing a lot of these things called "memes" on other blogs I read. I've actually participated in one once . Since then I haven't been invite...

 

I bought a bowling ball. Why? Not because I'm any good at bowling - my average hovers somewhere around 110 if I were to guess. No, the main reason has to do with my laziness. Now that BTW has her own ball, I'm left to my own devices to find a 10 lb. ball - we used to share so only one of us had to navigate through the hordes of tongue-kissing teenagers and wife-beater wearing weirdos. I wonder what the weeknight crowd is like? Maybe more Big Lebowski than "If I have to see that girl's thong one more time I might gouge my eyeballs out with a rusty spoon". One can only hope. 

If you mix Canadian Mist with iced tea, it congeals in the cup. My mom handed me her cup and said "What do you think THAT is?" referring to a couple of brown blobs floating around in it. I poured it out only to see two big ol' gelatinous clumps plop into the lake. They were the consistency of boogers which prompted us to start throwing them at each other and then at the boys on the boat. We might have thrown a blob onto the boat that we were subsequently unable to locate. Should be a good story when someone does find it. My brother's dog of 14 years died. My lasting memory of Jasmine will still always be that mischievous look she'd give you right before she a) ran off; b) pissed/shat on the floor; or c) chased Cassady around the yard pretending she wanted the frisbee but really only wanting to torment - my personal favorite. To some that might sound like I'm only remembering the bad, but it's really more like one of those endearing traits...the look...

Jump! Originally uploaded by Corn Dog . Results are in and 9 out of 10 veterinarians agree Cassady does NOT have the Big C! His lump was an inflammation of tissue basically, so it's very good news for the Beaner Bean. In celebration of the good news, here's a picture of Cassady in his prime doing what he was born to do. Somewhere I have video of this too - will try to find that to post here. And to think, all the jumping and frisbee catching started with a little squeaky Woodstock chew toy I bought in Connecticut. Most people don't understand that the playing of the frisbee is not just one trick. It's actually four tricks in rapid succession: 1) Jumping for the Frisbee 2) Catching the Frisbee in the mouth (extra points if he tips it with his nose/head and then catches it) 3) Bringing it back 4) Dropping it. In my experience with Cassady, no.'s 1 & 2 came pretty naturally to him. Number 3 was a bit trying - what with the constant sniffing of the leaves/trees/but...

...to watch World Cup soccer, I've found it. Or rather, him. But first, congrats to Italy on their win. I started watching the final thinking I wanted France to win entirely because of the nothing short of inspired performance of their marquee player, Zinedane Zidane. For lovers of the letter Z, that's a great name no? So yes, I'm thinking France at first. In the first seven minutes they go up 1-0 on a penalty kick executed expertly by Zidane, so now I start thinking I just want to see a good game. No diving and bullshit yellow cards, maybe a nice draw to go on to penalty kicks, you know - I wanted it to be interesting. And France winning it with a goal in the seventh minute was not going to cut it. So now I'm cheering on Italy. During their game with the US, I didn't pay much attention to how hot the Italian players are. I saw them as dirty diving elbowing assholes mostly. But I did notice there was some potential. I watched the Italy against Germany match and one ...

Can I just tell y'all how lucky I am? I just happen to have the coolest Mom you could ever hope to have. Why is she so cool you ask? Aside from having a damn cool daughter who has taught her a lot about being cool, there are a couple of other things: BFF - My Mom is my No. 1 Best Friend Forever and always has been. Even when I was a whiny, selfish little brat teenager, she managed to relate to me on a level I could respect. Looking back I appreciate how bloody hard that must have been. In her shoes, I think I would have smacked me back then on a daily basis. And now that I'm older and quite obviously her mental superior, she still manages to engage me in conversation that doesn't bore me too badly. (Can you tell I'm going to be sending her the link to this post?) Encouragement - When I was like 8, I used to say that I didn't want to go to college because I never wanted to leave my parents. My mom gently encouraged me to think about it closer to that time and not be ...