I Still Can't Believe It

At least, not internationally, until October. Even if I wanted to I couldn't, since my passport is now officially full. This last trip cluttered it up with four stamps in London and two stamps from Malta, plus the one re-entry stamp in DC. I only had three empty spots before I left. I'm pretty damn glad to have this travel hiatus. The first half of this year has been pretty ridiculous with the amount of traveling - I didn't even unpack my toiletry kit between the last two trips and I found that a little depressing. Of course, I haven't yet unpacked the stupid toiletry kit yet from this trip, so maybe I was just depressed because of the sheer invincibility of my laziness. So now I must get caught up on all of the shit I've put off and delayed for the last six months. Namely, taxes and bills, but there's other stuff I've let slide - like staying in touch (and therefore on the good side) with my inlaws. I'd say I haven't been doing a very good jo...

Malta is.... , originally uploaded by Corn Dog . Well, just see for yourself. This is the view from my hotel balcony.

Can you read the t-shirt? , originally uploaded by Corn Dog . i've been wanting to do a proper post to announce to the world (or better yet, all 4 readers that don't know) that I'm an aunt for the first time. This isn't that post. This is me bored out of my skull after sitting in this plane for the last 2.5 hours. Oh, and not actually flying. Nope. Just sitting here at my favourite airport in the whole, wide world. Fucking o'hare. But look! Look at the wee baby fingers! Look at the funny t-shirt! I'm so proud of my bro and his wife - congratulations! Would y'all care if this blog became all nephew pictures, all the time?

Surfer Boy has this list of things he says to me before I leave for my soccer game every Tuesday night. "Good luck baby. Have a good game. Don't hurt yourself. No bruises." Last night, he didn't go through the routine, so I'm totally blaming him for what happened. Stupid ball deflected, or was kicked, by my goalie, right into the bottom of my chin on the left side. It wasn't on purpose of course, she was just trying to block a really hard shot on goal - my face just happened to be only five feet away from her foot, so I had .00000004 seconds to react. Blam. The pain in my jaw made my eyes water, but the real fun started when I tried to close my jaw and couldn't bite down right at ALL. The jaw was totally displaced to the right and forward and no amount of trying was making my molars touch. And that was when panic set in. The thoughts as I remember them in order: Wow that hurts I can't freaking close my jaw- AHHHHH! How will I eat? I'm goin...

Two Mojitos S'il Vous Plait , originally uploaded by Corn Dog .

One travel nightmare...check. One lost luggage...check. Two extremely sore feet and legs...check. One stress diet with no appetite for the last 48 hours...check. Such is my life at the conference. I did receive my luggage at 6:20 am on Tuesday morning, so at least that part worked out. I had just gotten out of the shower and had used body lotion and conditioner as hair products, so when the porter knocked and brought my bag in, the first thing I did after kissing him and prostrating myself at his feet, was jump back in the shower to use my own hair products. Nothing will kill what little confidence I sometimes have at these events quicker than a big ball of frizz on top of my head. I am grateful for hair products. I'll have to tell the full horror story of the trip some other time, but suffice it to say that in the future, I will be avoiding American Airlines and Fucking O'Hare at all costs from now until eternity. If I never have to fly through Fucking O'Hare again, i...

I Fucking Hate O'Hare , originally uploaded by Corn Dog . This is where I "slept" last night. Long story short, our flight was delayed out of STL long enough to miss our connection and the later flight to montreal was delayed 3x until it was eventually cancelled.

On Sunday, I go to Montreal for work. By Thursday of next week, this bit of my work - this bit that has been sucking my soul dry for the last six months - will be over. I'm not as worried about it now as I have been, mostly because it's out of my control at this point, but it's been a source of constant angst for long enough. Right before these conferences that I go to, I usually go shopping for one piece of clothing that will make an old outfit new again. For this trip, I've been searching without luck for a jacket. Not a suit jacket really, because that's just not how I roll, yo. But just a regular, nicely tailored jacket that will get dressed up with the right shirt. Today I found the perfect jacket, but it was a size smaller than I'd usually even try on. I tried it on. It's just a wee bit tight in the arms, but otherwise - love it. I had the random thought "I could have my arms lipo'ed so it would fit better. But then I'd be gettin...

Like my new shoes? , originally uploaded by Corn Dog . I love them. They make me wish I knew how to tap dance.