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Hey look! Are those cookies over there?

Will that post title work to distract you from the long slog between posts that seems to have become the norm? If yes, awesome, you're my kind of distracted. If not, toughen up, there's an arduous journey ahead of you and you should really save your strength for something more important to worry about...like toe hair and nose grease. And since that last might have sounded like some kind of advice, please heed my warning to never ever EVER, under penalty of looking stupid, take my advice on anything. "What do I know" is a common disclaimer I add to the ends of sentences in real life. If you want to get into the semantics of it, what do any of us really know ? Nothing is a foregone conclusion - I mean, just ask Pluto. You go for years being considered an equal and then some squinty-eyed scientists decide to strip you of your very lifeblood - who will ever learn to care about a non-planet? I guess lately I have been fooled into complacency, thinking I know somethin...
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I'm the Lyrical Jesse James

...which means I steal lyrics, right? I heard that line in a 90's song (coincidentally, the one that I thought said "It's gettin, it's gettin, it's gettin kinda hectic" but I only now realize they're saying HEAVY, not hectic) and I can't figure out why you'd want to promote yourself as a lyrical thief. In other news, I've completely failed at maintaining the calm demeanor I worked so hard at cultivating during my voluntary solitude of just two short weeks ago. It promptly vanished like a fart in the wind upon my arrival at the office. I wonder if the Europeans have this problem after having been holidaying for two solid weeks in August. If any of you work with Europeans, you know that several companies pretty much clock out for the entire month - good luck getting an email reply or a returned phone call. Some get an entire MONTH off. Can you imagine? What does their inbox look like when they get back? I dread the thought considering I...
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Can I Just Say...

...I hate taxes with the fiery hot hate of the ant looking at a magnifying glass. ...I'm glad Kurt Vonnegut was a writer. His wit and unique worldview are immortalized in print and that makes me happy. ...I'm the oldest person I know that still gets an Easter basket from their mum. She even puts money in a plastic egg. She's such a softie. ...I think once the grandkids start popping out (not me, my sister-in-laws. don't freak out), my Easter basket getting days are over. ...I'm really sad my iPod got jacked up on my last work trip. The sound only comes through on one channel now and it's not the headphones - it's the jack in the iPod. Boo. ...Work sucks so bad it's actually funny. Not the hours I'm working, but the sheer amount of chaos is amusing. Silly work people. ...My fantasy baseball team is wank. I'll never win with that motley crew. ...I'll think of something actual to post over the weekend. Piney is rejuvenating like that.
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