Funny Story

So after a 5 year hiatus, something spurred me to post here on February 8th.  It was a short post and didn't really say much.  It was kind of like dipping my toe into a pond I hadn't visited in a long time.  Who knew that in three short days, my life would forever change.  It kind of makes me regret that I let this blog languish for so long without updating as I would have liked to have some record of the previous five years before The News that would usher in the next chapter of my life - a chapter I had mostly given up being able to ever write.

Backstory: I hadn't been feeling well at the beginning of 2016.  Just felt off a bit.  I went to Orlando to work a conference and when I got backed, I was rocked by something flu-like.  I'm not sure I've ever had the flu but from the symptoms, I supposed that's what it was.  Of course I didn't go to the doctor or anything, pshaw.  I just suffered through it.  I had a fever for a few days and then the illness settled in my lungs and I coughed and felt terrible for another week.  That flu or whatever had me on my arse for a good two weeks.  Meanwhile, a new health issue had started about the time the flu ended: I was having terrible cramping.  Every night at about 2:30 am, I'd wake up with severe cramping.  So severe I'd have to get out of bed and walk around the family room and take deep breaths.  After a couple of weeks of this and some weird spotting, I made an appointment to see my gynecologist.  She gave me my annual exam and after hearing my symptoms, scheduled an ultrasound to see if my fibroids were back or if there was anything else going on in there that might be causing the cramps.

Fast Forward to February 11th: After having fibroids removed a few years ago, my OB had suggested it might be time to ditch the ol' uterus.  At the time, I was reluctant to take that step as I still had some faint hope that maybe some day I'd have a kid.  It was a long shot but ultimately she didn't see any negative consequences, I'd just have to deal with my erratic cycle and shut up about it.  So when it came time for the ultrasound, I was fully expecting the OB to take a look at the pictures and say it's probably time to ditch that cobweb-filled organ, you're 42, give it up.  (You know where this is going already, don't you? Whatever, keep reading.) So when the ultrasound tech turned the monitor to me and said "Congratulations!", I nearly lost my shit. There on the monitor was a mother fucking fetus.  My reaction must have surprised her almost as much as what I was seeing surprised me.  "Are you fucking kidding me???" is what came out of my mouth, followed closely by "Holy shit." and then "I'm so sorry for my language, but HOLY SHIT."

It's now November and just yesterday I was saying something to my Mom about "when I was pregnant" and I don't think saying those words will ever not be accompanied by a voice in my head saying "holy shit, you were PREGNANT". It's still an absolutely shocking realization even though the young Biscuit is sitting right here, peacefully sleeping off his early morning meal.  I look at him, 8 weeks old today, and continue to be in disbelief that he happened.  Maybe it's because I'm now 43. Maybe it's because I hadn't taken birth control in over 15 years and never had even a hint of fertility. Maybe it's because I had pretty much consigned myself to the endeavor of being the "cool" aunt. Maybe it's because he's absolutely beautiful and sweet and perfect.

I was confident back in February that no one would see that short post after so long an absence. I'm fairly confident no one will see this one either and that's OK. I'm writing it for me and for The Biscuit - that's what we called him while he baked in my old-ass oven.  If he ever does read this, the takeaway message is this: you're my miracle and I have loved you every minute of every day since I found out you were given to me - and that love will continue for every minute of every day until the end of time. You might have been the biggest surprise of my life, but you are by far also the BEST EVER surprise I could have imagined or received.  Hands down. No question. End of Story.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Stupid Saturn Rising

I'm the Lyrical Jesse James

Lost in Vienna