I too would like a glass of water, Billy

Ahh, the start of a new year. I can see why people feel the need to make resolutions as there's just something about that calendar change that evokes a feeling of anything's possible. Like, sure, it's possible I'll stick to a diet or, it's possible I'll really and truly quit smoking this year, and it's even possible I will stop picking my nose. And whether it's pure cynicism or a mixture of that with a side order of negativity, I didn't make any resolutions. I can't actually remember the last time I tried. Might have been that ill-advised resolution to stomp on the gas at yellow lights that resulted in the only accident I've had in a few years...can't be sure though.

Some resolutions I considered:

  • Quit smoking. This one is too tired and it's never worked. I still want to quit, but if I can't just do it, I can't do it at all. I'm gonna do it, but it won't be because of some throwaway resolution.
  • Don't take things too seriously. This one is something I should be resolving to do every day, not just because of some calendar date. Oh, and it's not working out too well as I've had two outbreaks of hives in two days. Stupid hives.
  • Don't pee on the seat. I don't do this anyway. I think this must have been from my brother's resolution list.
  • Stop taking advantage of senior citizens. Yeah, it's just too much fun. I can't quit that.
  • Give up on this blog. I can't quit you CDB. You mean too much to me.
  • Post more often on this blog. Again, no resolution is going to force me to write. And no resolution can make me be more forthcoming about painful stuff. And no resolution can help me focus more on the positive. I just have to do it already.
So you can easily see why I didn't do the resolution thing. I can't relinquish all of the things that make me happy. And peeing on the seat is great fun. You know what I'm talking about.

Anyone know the movie from which the subject of this post originated? It might be kind of obscure. I sure as hell can't figure out why I thought of it.

Comments

Unknown said…
I don't know which movie, but my guess is "The Ringer."

And, since you asked, my 2008 resolutions are...
** Stop kicking people in the kidneys all the time.
** Every time someone brings something sweet to work (candy, cookies, coffeecake, other sugary things that start with C), I vow to eat my fair share
** Organize a Frequent Flyer donation thing for troops stationed in Iraq so guys/gals can come home and see their families when they have time off.
** Mail my grandmother something every other month.
** Change my name to Snidely Whiplash and develop a habit of hunching my shoulders while rubbing my clenched hands together and grimacing.
** Make out with a celebrity. Gender is not important.
** Get an Obama tattoo.
** Make out with Dawners.
** Make out with Hillary (Clinton or Wagner).

I think that should keep me busy.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Unknown said…
sounded familiar, but i couldn't get it...i even tried to search for it--of course i never would have claimed that i came up w/ it on my own...but that was no help either. i just don't know.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Life said…
I think that quote is from The Sound of Music. (If you google, "I too would like a glass of water, Billy"? You are the first and only relevant search result).

My resolutions?
*Ask Gary Coleman to go make out with Joy
*Walk More
*Keep the toddlers from flinging themselves off cliffs
*Go to lunch with you and make you pay using Jedi Mind Tricks
*Cut back on Starbucks
*Stop eating so much at night
*Leave the state for another state besides Illinois and Florida
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
C-C-C-Corn Dog said…
HA! Stumped you all! The title is actually from White Men Can't Jump. Rosie Perez says it to Woody Harrelson. I give myself a cookie for stumping you.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
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